Breadcrumbing

Breadcrumbing is sending occasional, low-effort signs of interest, like a like, a late-night "hey" or a vague "we should hang out", that keep someone hopeful without any real commitment. Wikipedia sums it up as "sporadically feigning interest" while lacking genuine investment.

The longer explanation

Breadcrumbing is a dating-culture term, not a clinical one, but it has started to appear in research. Navarro and colleagues (2020) linked having been breadcrumbed with lower life satisfaction and more loneliness, in a preliminary study of adults (as summarised on Wikipedia). Khattar, Huete and Navarro (2023) found links between attachment insecurity and doing the breadcrumbing, in young adults in India and Spain.

The pattern works because intermittent attention is hard to let go of: a crumb arrives just as you were about to move on.

Example

Three weeks of silence, then a heart on your story and "you looked great in that pic." No plan follows. Two weeks later, a meme. The crumbs keep coming but the meal never does.

What it is not

A slow texter who makes and keeps plans isn't breadcrumbing you. Neither is someone who's clear they only want to be friends.

Online use vs research use

Online use is close to the research definition, though it's sometimes stretched to any inconsistent texting. Studies are recent, small and mostly cross-sectional.

I mistook breadcrumbs for a meal. Not anymore.